Google searches: too many
Mood: up and down, out in space, all over the place
Diagnosis: fear of success
You’d think that I wouldn’t be afraid of good things. You’d be wrong.
Good things are new things. New things, in certain mindsets, are to be feared.
Today started fantastically. We corrected another song. It was a glorious feeling. The happiness had me jumping up and down. I also received my tax return – not a huge sum of money objectively, but more than I’ve had in a bit.
And then I didn’t leave the house and struggled with getting to work. It used to happen more. I’m grateful that it doesn’t.
I do want more control over my fate, more discipline and creative freedom. The fears resurface every once in a while. Rarely now. I have my bf’s constant support, which helps a lot. I have mentors and friends. And so…
… back to the regularly scheduled broadcast! A blogpost. A late one, maybe too late to be read properly. But there was no blogpost yesterday (sorry readers 🙂 needed internet holiday, and I wrote two the day before). My goals for this blog were to write every day and understand how to promote myself. Well, I can hardly post a link every single day – even the most devoted friends would tire of this. I am giving myself a month or so. Just to write every day. To find my voice, find my feet. Create a habit and discipline. Just so that whatever happens, I know I have this.
If you’ve read this far, I am grateful for you. If you haven’t, I am grateful for writing itself. 🙂