I really like how this is phrased. I’ve almost always been a non-drinker, or a 1-drink drinker. I went from hanging out with fellow scouts (scouts pledge sobriety in Poland, though theory and practice can differ) to student life (where “how come you’re not drinking” was a big deal) to choosing my own adventures and people who will not pester me to drink. In certain situations (family events) drinking is easier than not drinking, still. It took me most of my twenties to find my feet on the topic.
Cool text. Drinking culture (intoxication culture) as heteronormativity, hell yeah.
I often come across discussions online in which sober people are trying to find ways to continue to enjoy socializing and going out now that they have stopped drinking. Feedback ranges from becoming super into drinking sodas and fancy drinks to hiding the fact that you’re not drinking to giving up on nightlife and parties all together. The common thread that runs through these discussions is the idea that sober people need to find ways to adapt and adjust or else we need to give up and retreat. We are the sober ones, the odd ones out, and it is up to us to find ways to fit in.
Looking at this discourse, it reminds me of homonormativity. How can we, as queer people, fit into a straight world? How can we blend in seamlessly, get married and join the military, and prove to everyone that we are just like…
View original post 654 more words
Courage. Take heart. This is literally all I can say to myself, as I:
- Take a new, uncertain path in life while
- My relationship is falling around my ears.
2. is, at least in part, caused by 1. – I’m fairly certain. We’re both sensitive artists (read: drama queens) and somebody here needs to put a boundary up and it’s got to be me. In an ideal world, I would quit my dayjob and enjoy nothing but mental support from my partner. In this world, it’s really up and down. I do understand – our lives are tied together, and if I don’t do well, financially, WE are in trouble – but truth is, one can process a tough situation in any number of ways, and I’m becoming disillusioned with what’s happening in here. I’m actually getting chances and commissions, there is plenty of pitches to make, applications and things; all I need is to be in sound mental state. And I’m struggling with that. Because four hour arguments, and some words can’t be fixed with I’m sorry, can’t be unspoken.
In other news, I went dancing on the street yesterday. My partner was actually really proud. I was, too. I thought about doing it forever, and now that I have – in the barest, easiest way, without much prep – I’d like to do it again. The bravery of it steals my breath. That’s what I need. I need to do brave things and stretch my body into a bit of pain that is real. This is real and necessary if I’m to actually make things possible.
I don’t need to be bravest of all people. All I need to do if be bravest of all Ritas that ever were. The only one to compete with is me. And that is some stiff competition, to be sure! But I can do it. I have so much love. I’ll spend it all in one place, now: on me. Growing myself up, my Rita-garden, the soil of soul.